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Eastwood mania hits town

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  clinteastwoodOkay, maybe it’s not quite “mania,” but having Clint Eastwood come to Jasper to film Trouble With the Curve has been a sizzling topic of conversation around Jasper. In a place where western films are standard fare for infants and toddlers, and to show we’re not above a little celebrity fawning, we’re saddling up on the Clint bandwagon to have fun with the fact one of Hollywood’s biggest stallions is riding into our little one horse town.

     To celebrate, we suggest that from now until filming is over at the end of next week, you and your friends use as much Eastwood lingo, diction and body language as possible in everyday conversation. Think “International Talk Like a Pirate Day,” only cooler and more sustained. Try injecting a few popular Eastwood quotes into discussions held over dinner or coffee––and keep in mind the quotes you use do not have to fit the conversation perfectly.

     Here are a few examples:

When your young child’s whining has forced you to dole out punishment, which leads to said child crying, tell him or her, “You don't have to worry, Kid. I ain't gonna kill you. You're the only friend I got.” – Unforgiven, 1992.

     If you are eating dinner with your family, and your teenager gets bored and starts lackadaisically digging around in their mashed potatoes, say, “You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.” - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, 1966.

     If your waitress tells you they are all out of Splenda and would Sweet n’ Low be okay, you say, “Go ahead, make my day.” Dirty Harry, 1971.

     If you are at a TEA Party meeting, and the topic of gun control comes up, ask for the microphone and say, “I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.” – Pink Cadillac, 1989.

     To heighten the Eastwood frenzy a bit more, we would also suggest a “Clint Day,” which would culminate in a Clint Eastwood look-alike parade. Participants would choose their favorite Clint character and dress like him, then mozy on over to the Progress parking lot on one of the days he’s in town.

     We’ll all spend an hour or so talking to each other using our best Eastwood impressions, then line up and march around the parking lot. As a finale, we’ll shoot our guns in the air (because we assume 99 percent of participants will come wearing a poncho, tattered cowboy hat and holstered pistol) and hope that the real Clint hears us from Jasper City Park, where he will be filming. In all seriousness, if you have the gumption to dress up and come by the Progress office next week, we’ll take your photo and print it in the paper.

     Finally, since no good column on a celebrity comes without a little gossip, here are some tidbits we’ve heard from the rumor mill.

     •Eastwood had an entire pallet of Pabst Blue Ribbon delivered to the set in Dawsonville, another Georgia filming location.

     •Eastwood and Justin Timberlake (who also stars) have plans to eat at a local restaurant, but instead of eating with other patrons, they’ll rent the entire place out and eat alone.

     •Eastwood flew to filming locations in Dawsonville by helicopter.

     •Eastwood is making more money for one hour of shooting Trouble with the Curve than we make in two years.

So let’s all put our best boot forward and make the experience here for Eastwood and the rest of the cast and crew a good one, because, if we’re honest with ourselves, it’s a whole lot of fun having movie stars come to town.

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